Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Rain

As I look back on this blog, I am reminded of the reasons why I chose its title. "Bring the rain." Current times have been full of blessing, but also very difficult for me. I am now engaged to the man that I believe God made me wait for, and I am very excited about getting married. Coupled with my joy, I have been extremely stressed lately. Between classes, trying to get through classes, and managing life, times have been rather trying. How easy it is to lose focus in the hecticness of every day life. Logging back into my blog reminded me today that I PRAYED for rain. Lately, I have felt drowned by it instead of refreshed. For the past two weeks, though, I have felt God drawing me closer to Himself, calming my overactive mind, and soothing me with the knowledge of His love, power, and sovereignty. I have begun journaling my devotions in an attempt to meditate more on God's word and so that I have something to look back on during difficult days. I have been so convicted that my lack of joy has been the cause of many of my difficulties. Instead of looking at the as glass half-full, I've been seeing it as mostly empty. Now, I am trying once again to live day by day (as Julia reminded me on Sunday night), and to look for and rejoice in the positive things that happen to me. Whether it's the beauty of the swirling snow, the blessing of actually finding a parking space at TU, or the warmth of Boo (the cat) resting on top of me while I rest, the little things have begun to brighten my days.

When in the mire of sin and self,
My eyes fall from the light.
With sadness sweeping over me,
Sin's grip just seems so tight.
I struggle feebly to climb out,
To find the joy I seek,
But ever deeper do I fall.
My heart begins to weep.
"O Lord have mercy," now I cry,
"And save me from my sin!"
These words--so simple, pure, and true,
The only way to win,
Should be the first words from my lips . . .
To save till last was sin.
God is my refuge, tower, hope,
The strength in all my fears.
O to keep Him before my eyes
Before they fill with tears.
Please make me steadfast, O my God,
And make my heart be true.
And may my first and greatest love
Be only, ever You.