Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Separate Anyone?

Patrick and I recently watched an episode of King of Queens. If you've ever seen the show, you know about the hilarious ups and downs that Carrie and Doug have in their marriage although they always come back stronger in the end.  In this particular episode, they go mattress shopping because their old bed is ripped and falling apart.  Anyway, while they wait for their new set to come in, they sleep in twin beds on opposite sides of the room.  They realize that life is so much easier if they are SEPARATE but TOGETHER!  They begin going to different restaurants, movies, and events.

[Disclaimer: This is not a recommendation for the show . . . sometimes the humor is clean, other times we either flip the channel or turn the show off altogether.  I just thought that parts of this particular episode went well with what I wanted to discuss today.]

I was reminded of this show when Patrick and I decided to try going our separate ways this week--with our own coffee makers!  He hates it when I make flavored coffee in our coffee maker, so I now have my own little five-cup in which I can make a daily decaf flavor of my choice without him giving me any grief.  It's amazing!  I love it!  Why didn't we do this sooner?!

The coffee makers and the fact that we have separate bathrooms (sort of . . . I kind of use both!) are the only ways in which we are truly separate, though.

I often see couples who live their own separate lives, who come together occasionally to do things, but who would rather do their own "fun" things.  Men's outings, ladies nights, fishing trips, shopping excursions.  I'm not saying that doing any of these things occasionally is wrong, but I do think that the majority of time in a marriage should be spent together lest a couple grow apart (and we see a lot of that these days).

Because Patrick and I get to spend so little time together because of his job, when he is off I want to spend time with him and not away.  As an aside, I must confess that it kinda bugs me when he is invited to join various "men only" Bible studies that are on FRIDAY nights.  Excuse me--Friday nights?!  That's the one night of the week when we can really stay out late and do things together, the one night when we don't have to be up early in the morning, the best night of the week for family time.  I'm all for Bible studies, but come on--think about the families here!  I don't want to be left home every Friday night or every other Friday night . . . I don't think that it's healthy for our marriage.  That being said, I am always VERY relieved when my husband declines such invitations. *  Sorry, rant over.

Well, all this to say that while I am loving having my own java brewer, I prefer that the majority of things in our lives stay "ours" and not his/hers.  :-)

*Note: Patrick does participate in a weekly Wednesday night Bible study for men at church.  He does this and I'm able to go and sing in the choir, so we at least get to ride together even if the ride is only three minutes each way!

4 comments:

Sherri said...

Erin,
I am SO, SO, SO with you on this one! We talk about this frequently. We have several sets of friends who do separate things all the time, and Phil and I just can't understand it. What the heck kind of marriage can that be? We love being together, and are quite frequently. He also participates in a Wed. night Bible Study while I work with Awana, but we are both still at church. Anyway, thanks for this..you are not alone in your feelings!

Naomi said...

Erin, I just have to let you know that I love King of Queens, and I'm probably gonna waste the entire rest of the week watching episodes of it online now that you've mentioned it. I blame you entirely, and I love you ;)

Heidilea said...

Erin, This is cool. I just noticed that you started this. I need an outlet and have conciderd doing this too. Anyhow, these are my thoughts on your subject. I was watching a Johnny Cash interveiw on Youtube and when they asked Johnny what had helped his marrige work all these years he stated, " Separate Bathrooms!" He then laughed a little bit. I have also heard it said by other celebs like Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones. I can totally see this. It makes sense to me. :) Your baby is beautiful. love ya, Heidilea

Erin said...

Mrs. Sherri: It's always good to see couples who love to be together--and I'm so glad that you raised Amanda that way!!

Naomi: XXOOxxooXoxO

Heidi: I miss you-- this month is busy in the evenings, but let's find a date for you to come over in October!

A. Friend: Thanks!