Last night, Patrick and I attended the joint senior piano recital of some friends. While there, I ran into my old piano professor. She did not exactly look thrilled to see me. Perhaps she didn't recognize me (although we spent hours of one on one time together). Patrick noted her lack of enthusiasm, and it reminded me of a conversation that I had with this professor just before I got married.
She wanted me to go to Germany and devote myself to the piano and the study of music. When I told her that this would not be possible because I was getting married, she said something like, "Well, he should just give up his job and go to Germany with you. My husband came with me to America . . ." I think that she was rather disappointed to find out that Patrick would not be leaving his stable job to trek across the ocean so that I could study music abroad.
All of this made me wonder how many of my past music professors, could they see me now, would think that I am wasting my talent, my degree, and my life. How many of them would be appalled to see that I am barefoot and pregnant and that my only musical outlets are singing to my stomach and my cat, participating in my church choir, and playing the piano for graduation ceremonies. What would they think if they knew that 99% of the accompanying and playing that I do these days is for free?!?
I knew while I was in school that I never wanted to be a world famous performer, that I never wanted to be a recording artist, but I rarely if ever shared this with my instructors because I knew what they would think. Not that I cared, but I didn't want to lower my grade merely because someone was upset that what I really wanted out of life was to be a wife and a mother instead of a dedicated artist.
Right now, I am living out my dreams. I am a part of a wonderful church, and God is blessing my time there. I have a husband whom I love and who loves me, and we are happy and blessed together. In about two months, I will be blessed to hold my first daughter. The only thing that I could do without is all of the cleaning, but even that isn't so bad these days. This is why God put me on this earth. He knew the plans that He had for me, and my being at home was a part of those plans. God doesn't see me as wasting my life--He sees it as fulfilled and blessed.
Don't get me wrong--I still love my music. I have a gorgeous baby grand piano, and I love playing it. Someday, I will teach my kids to play. For now, though, I am making the most of the life that I chose and that God gave to me. I'm not throwing away anything--I just picked what was most important to me.
She wanted me to go to Germany and devote myself to the piano and the study of music. When I told her that this would not be possible because I was getting married, she said something like, "Well, he should just give up his job and go to Germany with you. My husband came with me to America . . ." I think that she was rather disappointed to find out that Patrick would not be leaving his stable job to trek across the ocean so that I could study music abroad.
All of this made me wonder how many of my past music professors, could they see me now, would think that I am wasting my talent, my degree, and my life. How many of them would be appalled to see that I am barefoot and pregnant and that my only musical outlets are singing to my stomach and my cat, participating in my church choir, and playing the piano for graduation ceremonies. What would they think if they knew that 99% of the accompanying and playing that I do these days is for free?!?
I knew while I was in school that I never wanted to be a world famous performer, that I never wanted to be a recording artist, but I rarely if ever shared this with my instructors because I knew what they would think. Not that I cared, but I didn't want to lower my grade merely because someone was upset that what I really wanted out of life was to be a wife and a mother instead of a dedicated artist.
Right now, I am living out my dreams. I am a part of a wonderful church, and God is blessing my time there. I have a husband whom I love and who loves me, and we are happy and blessed together. In about two months, I will be blessed to hold my first daughter. The only thing that I could do without is all of the cleaning, but even that isn't so bad these days. This is why God put me on this earth. He knew the plans that He had for me, and my being at home was a part of those plans. God doesn't see me as wasting my life--He sees it as fulfilled and blessed.
Don't get me wrong--I still love my music. I have a gorgeous baby grand piano, and I love playing it. Someday, I will teach my kids to play. For now, though, I am making the most of the life that I chose and that God gave to me. I'm not throwing away anything--I just picked what was most important to me.
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